In this live, Deri opened by sharing his career story. And he didn’t shy away from the difficult moments.
Six successful, fast-paced years at Bain with rapid promotions came alongside mental and physical health he would later rate at three out of ten. Then, as CFO of a 60-person boutique going through a brutal sale process, with two children under five at home and twins on the way, he found himself on a call with twenty senior advisers and simply exploded: will you please let me speak? What made his story land was that none of that pressure had been visible to him at the time.
The frame of our conversation comes from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership:
Above the line, you are calm, curious and open, able to treat a hard week as a story you will tell later. Below it, you are defensive, committed to being right and protecting your position.
Everyone drops below the line several times a day. Deri noted that around 90% of people have a light-bulb moment when they hear this, and that the 10% who object tend to be demonstrating the framework rather than disproving it.
On what to actually do, Deri set out four layers of self-awareness (measure, track, reflect and crack) with trigger tracking as the practical entry point. You note what happened, the thoughts and feelings it produced, how you behaved, what the impact was and how you would have behaved above the line.
Once you develop these skills yourself, the multiplier is the team. If a group shares the language we discussed in our conversation, someone can say “I’ve dropped below the line, give me a minute” without it costing them anything, and that shared vulnerability is a real asset.
If you want one step after watching, start with the (free!) templates in the accompanying article. 👇🏼
If you would rather read, Deri recommends The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman and Kaley Klemp, and Growing Yourself Back Up by John Lee.
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