10 Comments
User's avatar
Kunlun, PhD | Playful Brains's avatar

Thank you for this very practical and thoughtful piece. I especially appreciated the framing of questions as a form of “conversation design.” It’s easy to think of questions as neutral tools, but your examples show how the structure of a question can quietly shift the entire emotional climate of a discussion.

One idea your article brought to mind is that good questions don’t just improve conversations—they gradually change the culture of a team. Over time, people start internalizing the kinds of questions they expect from their leader. In that way, the leader’s questions eventually become the team’s own thinking habits. When that happens, the leader isn’t just guiding discussions anymore—they’re shaping how the team learns to think.

Last but not the least, it always amazes me how leadership and parenting are so strikingly similar!

Andrea Chiarelli's avatar

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, it’s really important to acknowledge that point about leaders setting the tone and establishing customs. An error there can be very costly!

Naresh Reddy R's avatar

Insightful and helpful. Thankyou 👍

Andrea Chiarelli's avatar

Thanks for the feedback!

David Astbury's avatar

Incredibly helpful. I really appreciate how you’ve sliced questions that create friction and explained how they function. I’ll raise my awareness to these.

Andrea Chiarelli's avatar

Thank you for the feedback, it’s great to hear this resonated!

TK | The Development Journal's avatar

This is a very helpful breakdown of the types of questions we see at work. And many I try to be actively conscious of. One thing I noticed with the popularization of AI transcribed online calls, is that the way in which people word question is now much more obvious. I think it could be a nice positive side effect of transcription.

Elina's avatar

That's an interesting observation! I have not thought about that, but we actually now get much more data to observe dynamics in the communications. In the old days you would pay an organisational coach or consultant to sit in the meetings, make notes, calculate how much airtime each person had, what kind of questions / points they made etc. Now this is available to everyone, and there will be so many insights hidden in these scripts about power dynamics, individual styles and culture.

TK | The Development Journal's avatar

For sure. I think there was a brief period people were conscious of their words because of transcription.. but I'm noticing people revert back to old habits now that they're taking the AI for granted!

Andrea Chiarelli's avatar

For sure! Transcription had a life changing impact in that sense. I do a lot of qualitative research and the difference is huge compared to the time before transcription was a thing.